In the truck cabin
I just wish that I could give you that
That look that's perfectly un-sad
-- Glass Animals, Heat Waves
Since Justin knew how to get to Ryan’s place, he didn’t need many directions, which was good, because Theodore wouldn’t know how to guide him all the way there. He’d probably know the layout of the town better and the actual name of the streets if he had a license. His geographical knowledge was limited to the two neighborhoods where he’d lived, so when Justin pulled into a street that he recognized, he knew they were close. It was only then that he was able to guide Justin the rest of the way to the apartment.
In front of it, Justin pulled up to the curb—in the coveted spot between the two garage doors—and leaned over for a look. The angle from the driver’s seat didn’t give him much, but he could still see the garden out front and the first floor, enough for a taste.
“Damn. That’s a nice ass place, Theo.”
“What can I say? I’m a worthless trust fund kid. It’s okay for you to hate me.”
Their eyes met. For a second there, he thought he was in trouble, that the joke was too tasteless and real, but a small smile soon quirked up Justin’s lips, followed by a friendly shove. All the tension in his body left it.
“If people hate you, it’s because they’re jealous. Do you know how different my life would be if I had my own place? I’d be drowning in pussy.”
He laughed. “Well, I live with four other people, so it’s not just my place.”
“Whatever; it’s the absence of an adult figure that matters. Tell me you guys don’t party all the time.”
“No, you’re right. I’m just saying like, no one’s ever brought anyone home, is what I mean. We’ve never actually talked about this, but it kind of feels like there’s this unspoken rule that we shouldn’t do it. At least while people are home, anyway. Laith’s only ever been here when the girls were out.”
“Laith’s been here?”
Suddenly, his heart stopped.
Shit.
“Man, I shouldn’t be surprised.” In his peripherals, Justin shook his head. The good humor in his voice allowed Theodore’s shoulders to relax. “You two have been at this for a while.”
“It hasn’t been that long,” he defended, even though the untrue nature of his comment made it incredibly weak. He didn’t even believe it himself.
“Yeah? Didn’t you hang out, like, a month ago?”
“Uh.” A month ago? Well, if last week, the first time he’d brought Laith home had been three weeks ago, then… “A month ago. You’re right. Why are you right?”
“Why am I right?”
“Sorry, I meant to ask why you’re keeping tabs on my sex life. Are you interested?”
Justin scoffed. “First of, I’m not keeping tabs—” Two hands quoted the air. “—on your sex life; that’s nasty. I just remember when you told Ryan you were with Laith and that was a month ago; I didn’t know you guys were fucking. I mean, I should’ve known, but I didn’t think you were…” Justin gestured vaguely. “You know.”
“Gay?”
“No. Ready. I knew you were gay since you first talked to me.”
“What?” His face caught on fire. “How? Why? What does that even mean?”
“It’s really not you; my gaydar is simply impeccable.” Justin shifted in his seat to retrieve his wallet. Opening it, two fingers pulled a joint from the middle partition. Of course.
“Straight people don’t have gaydars,” Theodore defended.
“You’re right, cisgender straight people don’t have gaydars.” With the joint between his lips, Justin lit it up. “Besides, the way you look at him—the way you’ve always looked at him—would make even the straightest of cisgenders figure you out.”
“How do I look at him?”
“Oh, c’mon.” The cherry burned. “You’ve wanted that dick for years; we all know that. We just didn’t think you’d actually get it. I guess Laith really is that easy.”
“He doesn’t…” Sweat budded on his forehead, warm under his bangs. “He didn’t know, right? Like, he’s not part of the we that you’re talking about.”
“No, he definitely is. We’ve spent multiple nights talking about you, especially after the camping trip. We all thought your crush on him was cute.” Smoke billowed around Justin, trapped inside the cabin. “Ryan was the only one who didn’t. He was convinced Laith had done something to you. They even argued about it—he was so upset—which was when you were officially considered off-limits. Not just because you were underage, but even afterwards, like a perma-ban for being Ryan’s brother. Just like any one of us, you became undateable.”
The scowl on Theodore’s forehead deepened. “Undateable? Laith and Ryan sleep together. You and Emily are in love.”
“Nah.” Justin shook his head, joint between his fingers. “I mean, I had a crush on her, but it was never that serious. We’re all very close; we wouldn’t date each other and ruin it. Technically, what Laith and Ryan have isn’t dating.”
“Who came up with that?”
“What, the no-dating rule?”
“Yeah. Was it Emily?”
“I don’t know.” Smoke blew into the cabin. “Why do you think it was her?”
“It’s just a theory, but… when Laith rejected her, I feel like she’d hate to have to coexist with his future partner, so to prevent that, she prohibited everyone that she’s close to from dating him. She’s lucky he’s not a person who’s into that anyway, but I don’t think she knew it at the time.”
A low hum left Justin’s lips, eyes out at the street ahead. “That’s a little demonizing, don’t you think? Emily isn’t possessive like that.”
“Laith said she is. That her friends are like her family.”
“Yeah, but she’s not a control freak. We all care about each other just the same.”
“Maybe it’s different between the two of them. They’ve known each other the longest.”
“Maybe,” Justin mused. The herbal scent of the smoke was strong, but Theodore didn’t mind it; it was nice on the nose. “She’s changed, you know. She didn’t use to be so close to Ryan, damn near sharing his mania. I’ve never seen her act the way she did last night.”
“They’ve been close for a while though, haven’t they? Since the hospital, at least. Laith said that was two years after meeting Ryan, so what, three years ago now?”
Blue eyes looked at him. “What hospital?”
“When he got rushed to the E.R. for overdosing.”
Justin’s eyes doubled in size. Oh shit, he didn’t know? Suddenly, his blood ran cold.
“He told me about it last night.” His voice was weak, spoken from a body that no longer belonged to him. Up in the air, he watched himself talk. “He said Ryan saved his life.”
“Holy shit.”
“I’m sorry.” Oh god. “I shouldn’t have said anything; it’s not my story to tell. I thought you knew.”
Justin leaned back into his seat, shocked. “Man…” He stared past the windshield at the nothingness of his own mind. A hand came up to take the beanie off his head, red hair pointed in every direction. He looked lost. “I probably sold him the coke.” The way he said that sounded like a thought spoken out loud, removed from this conversation. “So that’s why he stopped buying it.”
“You sell drugs?”
Theodore had no idea why that had never connected in his mind. In silence, they stared at each other.
“What did you think last night’s party was about?”
“I don’t know, fun?”
“Everyone was smoking pot. Like, every single person in that party was smoking pot. Didn’t you think that was a little weird?”
“I don’t know; I guess I didn’t notice that.”
All he could remember about it, when the living room was still full and music still played, was the way Laith had looked at him.
“They came to buy from me. It’s a monthly thing I do. I used to sell other stuff too, harder stuff, but I found such a big market for pot near the campus that I realized I didn’t need to sell anything else to make a profit. Plus, I have my own plants, so no money is spent buying processed shit just to resell it. It’s a much better deal than what I had going on before.” Justin scowled. “Did you really think I grew herb just for me?”
“Well, when you put it that way, it makes total sense, but yeah, I mean. You’re smoking all the time; I just thought you were really into it.”
A scoff blew smoke toward the windshield, head shaking. “You know, the only reason I even know Emily is because Laith introduced me to her. He’s been buying from me for years.”
“So he brought you in and Emily brought in Ryan.”
“Yeah.”
The cherry burned. He remembered the way the smoke had felt down his throat, warm and itchy, but still much easier to deal with than alcohol, no aftertaste. The world had grown lighter and distant as he’d studied each of Laith’s tattoos, scars over his wrist, fern leaf on his neck, locked in the moment, focused. Staring at the joint, he reached over the middle seat.
“Can I have some?”
Blue eyes found him through the smoke. “I feel like you’ve asked me that before.”
“Yeah, but this isn’t my first time anymore. Laith let me smoke with him.”
“What hasn’t he let you do?”
Theodore smiled.
Before giving him an answer, Justin regarded the joint, fingers twisting it around. “I laced this one with hash. You sure you want it?”
He had no idea what that was, but also didn’t care to find out. “Yeah. Let’s try it.”
Breathing in the smoke, he immediately remembered Laith’s advice, to take it all in rather than trap it on his tongue. The warmth was the same as last time, fire in his lungs and ants in his throat, comforting in its familiarity. Nothing about the taste really stood out to him though, which made him question whether the hash was really all that different. In truth, it probably wasn’t. As smoke blew out of his mouth, he passed the joint back.
It was nice being able to spend time with Justin like this, with nowhere to be or any of the anxiety to try and keep him around. Not that he didn’t care to do it; it just seemed that his friend wasn’t in a hurry to leave. The fact that it was a Sunday afternoon, the one time when no one in the world had anything to do, was crystal clear in his mind, but still he knew that, if he were with Laith, then their time together would still be limited.
The joint passed back and forth, smoke piling up in the cabin. Part of him couldn’t believe they were doing this right in front of his building, where the doorman could very well see them, but that part was a little man pushed to the back of his mind, smothered under a pillow. The bulk of his attention was focused on the long shadows that inched across the street as the sun moved in the sky, smoke growing thicker. They talked, but nothing they said actually stuck with him, lost in the curves of his brain. In an instant, the joint was gone.
“Do you think,” he started, speaking sans filter, “Laith would’ve slept with me if I hadn’t made him do it?”
“You made him do it?”
“If he only ever thought of me as Ryan’s little brother, do you honestly think he’d ever consider sleeping with me? I don’t think so. I had to make him do it.”
“You can’t make anyone do anything. He likes you.”
“Sherry said he doesn’t talk about me. How were you talking about me?”
“That was before. It’s true that he doesn’t talk about you anymore, but obviously, I didn’t know why. He’s always been on your side though, speaking up for you, defending you. We all like you a lot.”
“Defending me against Ryan, huh?” Suddenly, his chest burned. “What did Ryan say?”
“Ah man, I can’t say stuff like that. It’s too vile.”
“Just tell me. What did he call me?”
“You know, it’s a slur. Laith’s the only one who could say it.”
His heart ached, poison coming up his throat. It stung.
“He’s always been terrible at keeping secrets,” Justin continued. “I’m not surprised you know about that.”
“He kept the E.R. from you.”
“I guess. I don’t know if I’d call that a secret, though. More like uh—a sad life experience. He’s good at keeping those out of the conversation.”
“I know. He—” The scars came to mind, faded with time. “He deserves better. I’m glad he’s happy now. Well.” His head cocked aside. “Maybe before today. I want the others to leave him the fuck alone.”
“They won’t, but he’ll pull through. Always does.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“Not get involved. They have it covered.”
“That’s the problem, isn’t it? They have it covered. They’ll tear him to shreds.”
“If they do, he’ll get back together in no time. I really don’t think you should worry about it.”
“They made him cry earlier. Emily did.”
That comment cast pensiveness over Justin’s features, eyes down with his thoughts. Theodore continued.
“She probably made him cry yesterday too, before Ryan choked him. Also, Ryan fucking choked him. You think that’s normal? Should I really not worry?”
“Are you sure Ryan choked him?”
“Yes, I’m sure. You didn’t see the look on his face when he told me, totally freaked out. I don’t think he made it up.”
“He exaggerates stuff sometimes. He’s a drama queen.”
“That’s what Emily thinks. Are you really gonna suck her dick right now? She’s not putting out for you; let it go.” He turned to face Justin properly, eyebrows drawn into a scowl. “Listen to what I’m saying: Ryan is toxic.”
Justin kept his face to the window, out of sight. His free hand squeezed the beanie. “Is he really, or is there something else going on?”
“Were you guys like this before he showed up?”
“No, actually. We were fine until you showed up.” Here, Justin turned to look at him with wide eyes and worry on his brow. “Look, I’m not—I’m not implying anything; it’s just different now. You changed everything.”
“So I should just kill myself.”
“No! God, no, I mean—I mean, Jesus, I don’t know! You just make everyone act weird. Emily is unrecognizable when she’s next to you.”
“She wasn’t like that on the camping trip. Actually, everything was fine on the camping trip, so what changed?”
Justin shrugged. “Your relationship with Laith. That’s all I can come up with.”
A groan came up his throat, back leaning against the seat. “You suck. You’re no help at all.”
“I’m sorry; I just want this to be over. I want things to go back to normal, when we could hang out without being at each other’s throats. I just want… I want Emily back.”
“You don’t sound like someone who used to have a crush on her. You sound like someone who’s still deeply in love with her.”
“I’m not, but… I thought I would be. For a long time, I felt like she knew me better than everyone else. Now, I don’t even want her to.”
“Does she know?”
“What?”
“That you feel this way.”
“No idea. We don’t talk about this kind of stuff, never have, but there was this connection between us, like we didn’t only speak the same language—we made one. Together, for the both of us. I could tell what she was thinking about just by looking at her.”
“And then I happened.”
“It’s not that simple. She likes you. I think Ryan’s worries seeped into her over time, that you’re breaking us apart or whatever. He struck a chord with her—she’s terrified of losing us, but it’s stupid. All of this is stupid. You’re not a threat!”
“I don’t want to bring you apart; I just want to be one of you. I want to be your friend.”
“Ryan seriously can’t see that.”
“I don’t think he ever will.”
In the sky, strokes of orange colored the clouds, bright under the afternoon sun. Splashes of warm reddish hues intermingled with blue, more and more prominent as time went by. Already quiet during the week, this street was completely deserted on a late Sunday afternoon.
“I can’t believe he called me that when he’s balls deep into Laith anyway.” That thought left his mouth absently, eyes out at the buildings that lined the street, dazzlingly orange. He wasn’t even aware he’d been thinking about that at all. “I’m not even gay.”
“You’re not?”
“No. I like women.”
“But you like men too.”
“It’s weird; I don’t like them the same way. I’d sleep with both, but I don’t trust boys to do it. I don’t want anyone near me.”
“You’re bi, then.”
“But I don’t like them equally. I don’t want everyone to top me.”
“No, you’re not getting it. If gender isn’t a major deal-breaker for you, then you’re bi—that’s really what it is. Like, if you’re flirting with someone and later find out what their gender is, that information won’t stop you from wanting to fuck them anyway.”
“I haven’t slept with women, though. I don’t think I can count them in.”
“Sure, you can. It’s about attraction, not body count.”
“Then that makes Ryan bi too.”
“Yeah.”
A deep breath left his nose, exasperated.
“What?” Justin asked.
“He’s such a fucking hypocrite.”
Justin moved in his peripherals, but he didn’t turn to look, staring straight ahead. The shadows that climbed the side of the next building over were up to the sixth floor by now.
“Justin.” The darkest portions of the shadows twisted and turned. “Promise to be my friend despite what Ryan does next?”
“He doesn’t control me, dude; nothing he does will ever make me stop liking you. It’s up to you how I feel about you, not anybody else.”
“How can I make Emily think that way too?”
“If I knew the answer to that, I would’ve given it a shot already.”
The world was quiet.
“Here.” Justin shuffled next to him, actually catching his attention this time. With his wallet out, he retrieved a baggy and handed it over. “That’s for you, for being such a cool friend.”
“I don’t know how to roll it.”
“I’ll show you.”
A thin piece of paper left Justin’s wallet, practically see-through, placed on the dashboard. The baggy was handed back so he could pack the paper, very carefully, bending it in half without folding it. Practiced fingers wrapped it over the contents and rolled it like a burrito, twisting off both ends so expertly that, for a moment, Theodore found it easy enough to do it himself. It turned out firm and long, just fat enough to pass for a RYO cigarette. Realistically, he knew he’d never be able to make one like this.
“You just need practice. It’s really not that hard.” Justin handed him the joint.
“Is there hash in this one?”
“No, that’s the regular stuff; hash is a little strong for you. I don’t mind smoking it with you, ‘cause I’m watching you and I know you’ll be fine, but I don’t want you smoking it by yourself just yet. Get used to the normal high first.”
“I didn’t get high when Laith smoked with me. I’m not even high right now.”
Justin laughed. “Uh-huh. As soon as you find a mirror, you’ll change your mind about that.”
“Why? What do I look like?”
“Someone who’s incredibly high.”
“Can people tell? Can the doorman tell?”
“I don’t see a doorman.”
“If I go up right now, will the girls know?”
“Not if you act normal. Just don’t think about it too much.”
“I will think about it too much; that’s all I do! I can’t go up yet. This needs to wear off first. How will I know it’s worn off?”
“When the world feels heavy again. The moment you’re not having fun anymore, you’re sober.”
“Well, that’s not very helpful, is it? I’m having fun with you and that’s not gonna stop when I sober up, so really, I’ll never know. I’ll never actually know. You’re like—you’re like weed personified.”
Justin’s laughter filled the cabin. There was no more smoke in the air, or none that could be seen by the naked eye. “I’ve never been called that. What a compliment.”
“If you’re weed, then what am I? Coke?”
“Nah, you’re not coke. I don’t know what you are. LSD, maybe.”
“Ecstasy?”
“No, X is sexy. It’s hard to compare you to anything fun ‘cause you’re so serious all the time.”
“I think I just heard you say I’m not sexy. Is that right?”
Justin scoffed. “No offense, but you’re not my type. You’re very pretty though, like you could pass for one of the Hollywood boys, if you wanted. I’d flirt with you if you were a girl.”
“Is Ryan still flirting with you?”
“No, that bit didn’t last long. Emily didn’t like it.”
“Have I always looked like one of the Hollywood boys or do I just look like one now because I’m dressed like them?”
“You always have. I’m sure Laith told you already, but they’re these very pretty boys that dress like they belong in a mansion, hoping some rich dude will actually take them to one. That’s how it started, anyway; now they’re richer than all of us combined.”
“So what’s the big deal? Why is everyone obsessed with them? Pretty guys are everywhere.”
“Well, now the appeal is different. It’s social status. They’re so rich that they get to choose their clients, so if they choose you, it means something. Everyone gets to know about it.”
“Wait, people are lining up to pay these guys?”
“Yeah, dude; they’re the elite underground. If you’re worthy of their time, you’re part of the elite too. A whole list of privileges comes with that.”
“That’s so dumb. You think they’ll let me be one of them?”
“I think you’re too young to even be considered. They’re all, like, twenty-five.”
“I could pass for twenty-five.”
“Absolutely not. You could pass for fifteen.”
He clicked his tongue.
“I actually have business down there tonight,” Justin explained, “so I’ll have to leave soon. I deal to them first, then the rest of the club.”
“You know them?”
“No, it’s just business. Why do you think Laith even talked to me in the first place?”
“Oh my god, he’s been in love with them forever.”
“Don’t act surprised. Listen, are you gonna be okay by yourself? Are the girls upstairs?”
“Do I still look crazy?”
“Yeah.”
“Then I’m not going up.”
“I’m not gonna leave you alone on the street.”
“No, I’m coming with you.”
“Absolutely not. Look, if you just close your eyes a little bit, you won’t look so crazy. The girls won’t notice. Relax.”
He breathed out, shoulders drooping.
“Okay, don’t relax too much; now you look really high. Just act normal.”
“How can I act normal when I’ve never had to think about that before? The fact I’m making an effort to look normal already signifies defeat!”
“You’re so negative. Freaking out about this won’t be beneficial to you. Look at me—do I seem crazy?”
“No, but you’re definitely high.”
“Better than crazy. You’ll be fine. At least only your friends will know, not your parents.”
“What if my parents are upstairs?” His heart raced.
“Well, that’d be unlucky. Text one of the girls to make sure.”
His phone screen glowed intensely. The letters and numbers that composed the time and date moved and shifted, dancing in place as he punched in the password. Once the screen unlocked, all the apps that appeared next swayed in the same way. A series of taps landed him in Daisy’s inbox with a very brief yet unsuspecting question of who, exactly, was home at the moment. She named all the girls and nobody else, no parents whatsoever.
“Okay.” He breathed out. “The coast is clear.”
“There. You’re good to go.”
Staring at Justin, he felt his heart swell, chest full of a sentimentality that had sprung out of nowhere. “Thank you for today. I mean it. You turned a bad time into a good one.”
A hand reached across the middle seat and clasped his shoulder, shaking him a little bit. “That’s what friends are for, huh? Making shitty days suck a little less.”
“Thank you. I hope I can do the same for you sometime.”
“I’m sure.”
***
The lights were mostly off upstairs, a dimly lit room for the movie that the girls watched. They didn’t notice his arrival right away, footsteps muffled by the soundtrack, but as soon as he showed up in the hallway, lit up by the screen, four pairs of eyes found him, wide and delighted. Promptly, two of the girls in the middle moved to make room for him, and as custom, without even thinking about it, he walked over and sat between them.
“How was it with your parents?” Daisy asked, strawberries light in the air. It reminded him of math class.
“It was fine, all things considered. They definitely think I’m doing something sketchy that they probably won’t approve of—and they’re right—but they don’t know what that is yet. I didn’t spend the weekend with them, though. I lied.” All of that just came out of his mouth with no thought behind it, words pouring out like a waterfall. “I went to a party on Justin’s farm. I didn’t tell because I didn’t want you guys to go. I’m sorry.”
“Oh.”
Glances were exchanged.
“Was Laith there?” Jessie asked.
“Yeah, that’s why I didn’t want you to go. I had plans. I, uh.” He faltered, almost conscious enough to hold back the confession. “I went there to sleep with him.”
The eyes of the crowd widened.
“Well, did you?” Hannah held up a palm, anxious to know the answer.
Her question cut a smug grin across his face. “Yes.”
Shock covered mouths behind hands and dropped jaws. He felt incredibly proud of himself.
“We’re even now,” he continued. “I don’t think anyone here is a virgin anymore.”
“Wait, so.” Jessie scowled. “Are you guys together yet?”
“No, I told you we’re just friends.”
“Actually, you said you weren’t friends,” Hannah corrected.
“Then why are you going after him?” Jessie’s tone was soft with sincerity, despite the contents of her question. “If he’s so replaceable, I mean. Why aren’t you with somebody else?”
“I never said that. He’s not replaceable, he’s—he’s everything to me. It doesn’t have to be him, but… it kind of has to be him. I really want it to be him. I’m making it be him.”
The girls studied him very closely, eyes slitted with thought.
“It sounds like—”
“I know what it sounds like,” he cut Daisy off with his heart beating out of his chest. “I know because—because that’s what it is, I think. He said he should’ve chosen me from the start, like he wants to choose me and I can’t stop thinking about it, even if it wasn’t true. I just… God, I want it to be true so bad. I want him to mean it.”
Nadia touched a hand over her chest, moved to the brink of tears. Compassion softened the others’ features too, just not to that point.
“I feel stupid,” he barreled on, out of control. “I shouldn’t be thinking about him this way. I know how he is; I’ve known it before anything even happened. What I’m doing is not only stupid; it’s self-sabotage. I’m setting myself up for heartbreak.”
“Hey.” Jessie touched his arm, eyebrows drawn together. “You can’t blame yourself for something you didn’t cause. These things happen.”
“There are only two ways to see this through now,” Daisy interrupted, “to find out how he feels about you and either work it out with him or move on. You can’t go on without knowing.”
“I can absolutely go on without knowing.”
“And be stuck in a stalemate forever? You’ll live out your days hoping he feels the same way, wondering what it could’ve been, instead of enjoying what you already have. You’ll never be satisfied until you know.”
“Have you been in that situation before?”
Daisy straightened up, a breath caught in her throat. “Yes, actually. The best course of action is always to find out how the other party feels. I promise you it only gets better from there.”
“No, I already know the answer; he won’t go beyond what we already have, which is why feeling the way I’m feeling is ridiculous. It’s pointless. I don’t need to make it all worse; he’s had enough of my shit for today. Probably for a while, actually. I don’t even know when we’ll see each other again.”
The hand on his arm pulled him into a hug, face buried in Jessie’s hair, apples and cinnamon deep in his lungs. Surprised, he didn’t even have time to react, stiff in her arms.
“Thank you for telling us,” she whispered, though the movie had been turned so low that the others could very well hear her. “We’ll love you no matter what.”
Wait. As realization slowly hit him, he broke the embrace to look her in the face. “You know I’m not gay.”
The room stared at him.
“I’m—” His heart raced. He’d never said it out loud before. “I’m bi, Jessie. You know that.”
Jessie’s shoulders relaxed. “Yeah, but they didn’t.” She passed the other girls a brief glance. “Anyway, we love and support you all the same.”
“Um, actually.” Nadia’s voice was a squeak from the corner, head peeking from behind Daisy. “I’m bi too.”
Their eyes met across the couch in a look of complete understanding, a solidarity that Theodore had only ever felt once before, when Daisy had come out to him. The others moved around them, hugging them tight, whispering words of compassion, but staring fixedly at one another, they barely reacted. There was a lot more in common between them than any of the others combined. While Daisy only understood a fraction of who Theodore was, and the other two understood a completely different part of him, Nadia was the only one who he believed would be able to understand it all. To really, actually get it. Not like Laith did, but close. Her smile put another one on his face.
He really wanted to speak to her. After the movie was over, the girls all bade each other goodnight and left for their respective rooms, doors closed behind them. How weird would it be if he knocked on Daisy’s door to talk to her secret girlfriend? He didn’t even know what he wanted to talk about. This was just the first time he’d met someone like him, truly like him, who might relate to some of the weird feelings that inhabited his chest. There was so much he wanted to say and ask, but at the same time couldn’t. They weren’t close at all. The only other bisexual he knew was his brother, but that’d never be an option.
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