Lying
He sees right through me, it's so easy with lies
Cracks in the road that I would try and disguise
-- Daft Punk, Instant Crush
The atmosphere outside was a lot cooler now that the sun had set, almost sending shivers up Theodore’s spine, only in his track shorts and a T-shirt. Old sweat stuck to his forehead. Laith let him lead the way, following with a sway on his feet, imperceptible to passersby, but Theodore could see it. The unevenness of his walk caused him to step into Theodore’s personal space every now and then, nearly brushing his arm. Every time it happened, lightning shot down Theodore’s body, getting him all worked up for nothing.
A handful of these fake outs later, he decided to take matters into his own hands and make it happen. When Laith stumbled close this time around, Theodore bumped their arms together. Adrenaline immediately raced down his veins. Laith mumbled an apology without thinking anything of it, but now Theodore just wanted more, unsure how to get it, unsure what that even was.
“You said you live with four girls?” Laith’s words all slurred together, just comprehensible enough.
Evidence of his drunkenness quickened Theodore’s pulse. Something ugly rose in his chest, an urge to take advantage of it. He knew he could get away with almost anything right now, and Laith’s compliance meant he’d probably just go along with it, whatever that was. The thought rushed a million things through his mind, none of which he’d ever attempt.
“Yeah, high school friends. Some of us used to be neighbors, even.”
“And you don’t like any of them.”
He could hear his mother’s voice in those words. It drove the ugliness that brewed within him to paint a picture in his head, of his hands on Laith’s neck, squeezing it, but maybe not like that. Fingers on his throat, pushing onto the skin, his pulse under a palm. There was a chance Laith would like it—would he? Laith’s body under his own, pinned to his bed, hands around his throat, a threat. His weight on Laith’s stomach, sitting on him—had Laith ever done something like that? Probably. His fingers twitched.
“What’s so hard to believe?” His tone was snippy, but only because he was tired of this exact same conversation.
Laith shrugged, loose and half-interested, stumbling as he walked. It probably wouldn’t take much to push him to the ground despite how big he was, a guy like this. “I just don’t get it. You fooled around once, why stop there?”
“I don’t know. We don’t have feelings for each other, we just do our own thing.”
“That’s fine; you don’t need feelings to sleep around, you know that. I’m just wondering why you haven’t. Is she taken?”
“No, she hooks up with guys all the time.”
“Then what’s her excuse? Why did she reject you?”
“What? She didn’t reject me; it only happened once.”
“I mean when you asked her again. Why did she reject you then? Did you suck?”
“I didn’t ask her again.”
Laith stopped dead in his tracks, staring at him from under a scowl. “Wait, so you didn’t try after the first time? You just stopped there?”
“Yeah, why would I?”
“Why wouldn’t you?” The look on Laith’s face was utterly confused, as if Theodore were speaking German. “Unless she sucked and you don’t wanna do it again.”
“No, she was great, I just—I don’t know. I guess I never thought about uh, trying anything else.”
Laith squinted. “Are you a virgin?”
Rolling his eyes through the hard banging in his chest, Theodore turned around and continued walking. “Just because two people hooked up once doesn’t mean they need to hook up again.”
Laith’s heavy footfalls followed close behind. “Sure, but they’re usually strangers, not roommates.”
“Man, if I end up marrying her, I’ll pay you—and everyone else who thinks boys and girls can’t be just friends—a million goddamn dollars.”
“You’re misinterpreting me on purpose.”
“You’re being stupid.”
Laith clicked his tongue.
***
The apartment building came into view soon enough, taller than some of the others around; rose shrubs followed the length of the gate, a beautiful tree on the sidewalk. The exterior walls were a palette of cream tones in luxurious designs, and at night, spotlights lined the path from the gate to the door.
Laith glanced up with two raised eyebrows; muted admiration mixed in with disgust. “You have no idea how much your father pays for this place, do you?”
“I don’t want to know. I’m sure if you look it up, you’ll find out.”
Laith looked at him. “Well?”
“Well what?”
“Are we going in?”
“No way; the girls are up there. They only leave after nine.” A quick consultation of his wristwatch told him they still had fifteen minutes to go.
“So you brought me here just to look at your fancy apartment.” Laith pointed at the building with a hand. “You’re making me miss a drag show to look at the gate in front of your apartment.”
“You’re not even sure the drag show’s tonight.”
“I’m pretty sure it is. Next time Ryan calls me, I’ll answer and ask; he’s been blowing up my phone ever since you hung up on him.”
“Why haven’t you answered?”
“I don’t want to be the one to calm him down. I’m hoping Emily will step in at some point.”
“What a great friend. You sound like you care so much.”
Laith scoffed, unable to keep a grin from breaking through, feet turning around to let him lean against the gate. A hand reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette pack, tapping it against his other palm to pop one out. He plucked it between his lips and lit it, lighter hidden inside the pack. The flame cast a warm glow on his face, burning into emerald green. The cherry pulsed twice before the flame went out, lighter placed back into the pack. Smoke blew into the air.
“Do you know what the closest entrance from here is called?” Laith’s question was quiet, a purr in the natural low of his voice.
Theodore shook his head.
“Parkside. That one’s green. It’s a residential area with parks and gardens everywhere, five-story buildings and small houses. They even have insects to pollinate the flowers; apple trees for everyone."
“How’s any of that possible?”
“The underground is a lot bigger than you think. The original blueprint is expanded every day. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out it’s currently five times its original size.”
Theodore’s phone suddenly vibrated against his leg, making him jump. He fished it out to see a message from Jessie, asking if he’d come to Streisand’s, since they were just about to leave—ten to nine. He told her they could go without him and pocketed the phone, glancing up to see Laith quietly watching him, smoke like a veil between them.
“So we’re both ditching our friends tonight.”
Theodore shrugged. “Compromises. They’re going to Streisand’s.”
“But we aren’t.”
“No, we aren’t.”
“Why not?”
“We can throw our own party; we don’t need anyone.” No distractions, no strangers, no one to take Laith away from him; just the two of them and a couch. The implications almost sent his legs running, impatient. “C’mon.” He nodded at nowhere in specific, just away from the building gates. The girls would be coming down soon, so they had to move.
For as inconspicuous as he thought he was, however, his vagueness only made Laith suspicious. “C’mon where? We just got here.”
“I know, but this entrance doesn’t work after six; we need to go in through the back.”
Dark eyebrows pinched together. “Are your friends coming down?”
“Through the back.” Heat crawled up his neck, throat closed tight around the lie.
Laith watched him very closely. “Let me finish my cigarette.”
“You can smoke on the way.”
“Or I could smoke here. If your friends are leaving through the back, then smoking here wouldn’t make a difference, huh?”
He forced out a smile—there was no winning this one. For as fresh as the cigarette was, there was no way it’d take Laith ten whole minutes to smoke it, assuming the girls took every sacred second and didn’t leave before nine. They might be cutting it close, but if he just kept Laith distracted, he was fairly sure he’d be able to lure him away. Streisand’s was up the street, so they’d walk in the opposite direction.
“Have you been to this neighborhood before?” Theodore asked, sweet on purpose.
Laith shook his head. “I only know the parties that go down in places like this, not much else. Definitely not someone’s five-bedroom apartment, that’s for sure.”
“It’s actually a three-bedroom; the girls share two rooms and I get one all to myself. Granted it’s an office space that was turned into a room, but it’s still privacy.”
“I bet two of those girls are all up on each other and you don’t even know. Statistically, I’m correct.”
“I don’t think so. One of them does like girls, but I don’t think…” Flashbacks of the last few parties flew past his eyes, Daisy and Nadia always parting from the group, their steadily growing closeness, the fact that he couldn’t remember the last guy he’d actually seen get with Nadia in the first place—oh my god. His heart jumped.
“Looks like you just realized I’m right.” Laith smirked.
How long had that been going on? If it was true, anyway. Nadia had always been obsessed with Scott, and last time they saw him, they seemed to have had a good time together. What had happened there? Incidentally, if she was really seeing Daisy now, why would the two of them keep their involvement hidden? The girls had been so supportive of Daisy; they’d surely be happy for the two of them.
“If they’re really together, then they’re keeping it a secret.”
“If it works out, I’m sure they’ll tell everybody else.”
“How would they know that? The only way to tell things are going wrong is if they break up, but if they never do, then how do they know it’s not going to happen?”
“You’re asking the wrong guy; I don’t know shit about that.”
“Right, you don’t do dating.” Theodore added air quotes around the last word, following it up with a half-eye roll. “Whatever that means.”
“It means what it means. Relationships are too messy; I like things to be simple. Life is complicated enough as it is.”
“How can you know they’re messy if you’ve never been in one?”
“I mean feelings are messy. I guess I should’ve said that’s what I’m avoiding.”
“You can’t avoid that—statistically.” He was pretty sure he’d just used that wrong, but was really banking on Laith’s inebriation to give it a pass.
Luckily for him, Laith seemed to take that into consideration, eyebrows pinched into a thoughtful look. “Well, you can avoid the circumstances that will get you there. If you never get close to anyone, you won’t fall for them.”
“Incorrect; you can fall in love at any point in time, regardless of how well you know someone or how close you are to them. Just look at all those people in love with celebrities when all they do is watch them through a screen.”
“Okay, but you have to agree that if you avoid those situations, you’re less likely to fall victim to their effects.”
“Sure, but you’re still not completely immune just because you don’t know someone. You might fall for the version of them you have in your head, and there’s nothing stopping you there.”
“Isn’t that always the case, though?” Laith gave him a look, smoke dissipating in the air. “You’re never in love with who someone really is, only who you think they are; that’s why relationships don’t work out. That’s why people keep trying to change each other—to fit the mold they have in their head.”
“Maybe that’s why some relationships don’t work. I think if you know your partner, if you really do, there’s no reason why it shouldn’t. My parents have been married for almost twenty years.”
Laith shrugged. Smoke blew from his lips, swept away by the cool evening breeze. The way he leaned against the gate, with a leg bent at the knee and a foot on it, was very similar to how he’d waited by Ryan’s apartment earlier. “I’m not in any position to judge your parents’ marriage; I just don’t think it’s possible to really know anyone the way you mentioned. I think relationships only work when you succeed at fitting the mold, even if you ultimately cut out parts of yourself to do it.”
“Isn’t that the opposite of what it’s supposed to be? I thought you were supposed to meet in the middle and build each other up. That’s why my parents are always on the same side.”
“That’s a very utopian view of something that takes place in reality. There are way too many facets of how relationships actually work that directly contradict your statement.”
“Like what?”
Laith shook his head, hair ruffling with the breeze, a messy undercut with portions falling over his forehead. The cherry burned with one of the last drags from the cigarette, over halfway gone, time running out. It was clear that Laith wouldn’t answer his question, much less elaborate on his extremely pessimistic points. Theodore was ready to push him when something else caught his attention, a noise from the guard shack. The door swung open to reveal the security guard that usually had the night shifts at his building with a mask over his face and a deep scowl on his forehead, walking over. Theodore’s pulse ran cold.
“Is everything alright here?” The man’s voice was stern, clearly alluding to Laith’s presence and how long they’d stuck around at this point.
Laith straightened up and leaned away from the gate.
“Yeah, it’s fine; we’re just waiting for someone. Sorry to bother you.” Theodore forced a smile.
Staring straight at the security guard, Laith pulled the cigarette from his face and blew smoke into the man’s direction, too far to actually reach him, no words in his mouth. It was better that way; let Theodore handle it.
For the next part, Theodore touched Laith on the arm, fingertips soft on his skin. “He’s with me.”
The security guard glanced between them, obviously unhappy with the lack of confrontation. His baton hung by his side, hand an inch away from it, waiting for an excuse. Without permission to chase Laith off, the man simply nodded and walked back to his shack. He shot one last ugly look in their direction before disappearing.
“So this front gate doesn’t work, huh?”
That comment clenched Theodore’s teeth. Before he could answer, distant laughter and lively conversation cut through the air like a butcher knife, so familiar he could picture the girls leaving the elevator. Wide-eyed, he took Laith’s arm and tugged, staggering him a bit, only because he was drunk.
“Yeah, so why don’t we go round to the back?” Theodore hastily suggested. “We can get in that way; the gate won’t open on this side. C’mon, come with me.” He tried to drag Laith by the arm, not so forceful that it’d piss him off.
Despite his inebriation, Laith was still much bigger and far heavier than him, which automatically failed every one of his attempts to pull the man away. All Theodore really managed to do was dig a scowl into Laith’s forehead.
When the girls came out, their loud voices caught Laith’s attention, head turning for a glance. Theodore squeezed his arm.
“Let’s go!” Theodore tried again, panicking now, but all that did was make Laith snatch his arm away, nails scratching his skin. If Theodore weren’t completely losing it, he’d apologize, but froze in place like an ice sculpture, helplessly watching the inevitable unfold right before his eyes.
Close to the gate now, the girls finally caught sight of them. Confusion pinched their eyebrows together, conversation dying as they approached. The security guard unlocked the gate, and the delight that passed through Laith’s face in that moment was enough to murder Theodore right where he stood. The girls pulled the gate open as Laith tossed the butt of his cigarette onto the street, stepping away to let them through.
“Hey, Theo.” Jessie’s voice was light, an attempt to mask the awkwardness, eyes glancing Laith over.
The girls all followed her outside, gate touching the frame, still unlocked.
“Who’s your friend?” Hannah asked. Being next to Laith evidenced just how big her arms were, almost the size of his own. “You didn’t introduce us earlier.”
“He’s Ryan’s friend, actually,” Theodore quickly jumped in before Laith could say anything stupid. “We hadn’t seen each other in a minute, so I thought about showing him the apartment.”
“Is that why you’re not coming to Streisand’s?”
“Oh, I’d love to go.”
“Yeah, we’re not going.”
He quickly spoke over Laith, contradicting statements overlapping. In his peripherals, he could see Laith pass him a glance, but chose to keep his resolution from wavering rather than give Laith a platform for debate. This issue was nonnegotiable.
“We’ll wait for you, if you want,” Daisy kindly offered.
“Thanks, but that’s fine; I know you guys are running late,” Theodore lied.
“Maybe you could meet us there?” Hannah’s eyebrow raised.
“Maybe!” A fake laugh left his throat, hoping to smooth out the atmosphere. It ended up doing the opposite of that. “Anyway, we gotta go. I’ll text you,” he spoke the last part while pushing the gate open, wearing a big, forced smile on his face.
“Nice meeting you girls.”
Laith’s greeting was echoed four times as the two disengaged from the group.
As soon as he walked through the gate, Theodore pushed it into the frame until the lock clicked.
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