Quince
You look like a winter night.
I could sleep inside the cold of you.
-- Catherynne M. Valente, Deathless
Interestingly enough, Quince’s Quarters didn’t match up to the opulence the Dead Ponies was known for. Even though it was part of the conglomerate, it looked just like any other bar on the surface; the floor was dirty, the counters were grimy and the furniture was mostly made out of wood, old and worn down, a clear sign this place had been around for years. It must’ve been an independent business before the Dead Ponies had bought it.
How old was the DP anyway? Would Burman buy out small businesses? Theodore didn’t know the first thing about her or how the Dead Ponies operated, but that didn’t really line up with what he’d seen so far. Independently-owned businesses were everywhere in the tunnels; he hadn’t seen a single restaurant chain or fast-fashion store this whole time. The fact Quince hadn’t been gentrified was proof that, even if the DP had bought it, the original owners still held some sort of power over it, decision-making or otherwise. They were still in charge. If Theodore had learned a single thing in business school, it was that profit outweighed everything else.
Soft rock music played overhead, a familiar tune that he couldn’t put his finger on. He knew it, but failed to name it; all that came to mind was Ryan’s computer, filling his old room with 80’s rock. It pleased the crowd that populated this place, young people with metal in their clothes, spikes on leather. Even though most rats dressed like this, they didn’t all have this edge to them, verging on violence—metalheads.
Cigarette smoke hung in the air, making it hazy; the smell reminded him of Streisand’s. A round counter jutted out from the rightmost wall with stools underneath it, tables littered the left side and dart boards could be seen in the back. The soft sound of billiards indicated that the back was much bigger than it seemed. Louder, heavier rock music blasted into the room every time someone walked through this one metal door on the right, which seemed to lead into a whole different area. At a first glance, Quince was very deceiving.
Justin was already there when the other two arrived, sitting at one of the tables. When their eyes met, a big smile pushed into his cheeks, body moving up for a greeting. Excitement was written all over him. “Hey, guys! I got us some beer.” A tilt of the head motioned to the cans on the table, all stuffed in a bucket full of ice.
Theodore grinned. “Thanks, dude.”
“Don’t mind if I do.” Laith reached over and grabbed a can for himself.
For some reason, they all just stood by the table rather than take seats. That must be how Laith and Justin hung out.
“Sorry for being late, by the way,” Theodore started. “We had dinner, then went to the movies, and I just lost track of time. Promise you’ll forgive me?”
“How can I be mad at you when you look so good? Your new haircut’s dope.”
“Pretty people get a pass?”
“Pretty people always get a pass,” Laith commented. He spoke from behind the can, sipping on it right after.
“Are those bite marks?” Justin asked.
Laith passed his right hand a brief glance as Theodore’s heart sped off. “Yeah.”
“I actually have something I wanna ask you,” Theodore blurted out. He didn’t; his mind was a gaping hole with an echo bouncing off the walls, but he had to say something—anything to redirect Justin’s attention elsewhere. It was very important that no one acknowledged those bite marks any further.
His strategy was successful, and with both men staring at him, he let his mouth move, spewing the very first thought his brain could come up with.
“Are you really seeing Ryan this Friday? ‘Cause Jessie and the others are going to Streisand’s. They said there’s gonna be a zodiac party this time, with compatibility charts and everything. I don’t know if you care about that, but it might be fun to see how compatible you and Jessie are.”
“I’d say we’re pretty compatible.”
“I mean how compatible your signs are.”
“We did that last time,” Laith jumped in. “Talk about signs.”
“Yeah, but that was before the girls showed up—they didn’t talk about it,” Theodore explained. “We also didn’t do the chart thing for Jessie and Justin.”
“We didn’t do the chart thing for anyone,” Justin clarified. “We read a couple of horoscopes and found out Laith’s true calling is the missionary.”
“Wow, I forgot about that.” Laith almost sounded surprised. “Diagnosed with straight. Church goer whose wife gets raw-dogged behind an Arby’s while he’s at service.”
“More like church goer who gets raw-dogged behind an Arby’s after service,” Theodore corrected.
“I hope it’s by the priest.”
“Or a cute neighbor,” Justin suggested. “Mr. Smith with the wife and two kids down the road.”
“Maybe our wives have their own thing going on too. A neighborhood of self-loathing heretics.”
“Oh, hey, I grew up there.” Theodore’s joke got two grins and a snort.
“I don’t think I can cancel on Ryan, though.” Justin wrinkled his nose. “He’ll be real mad at me.”
“Guess you’ll never find out if your relationship is written in the stars, then,” Theodore mock lamented.
“You’d tell me, wouldn’t you?”
“Call me daddy and I might.”
That comment made Laith choke on his beer. He turned around with a hand over his mouth, leaning forward a bit. A second later, he coughed. “Shit.”
Justin grinned at that, turning to Theodore next. “We’re not dating, though. I don’t know how she talks about me, but she made it very clear that we’re not together.”
I’ve heard that before, Theodore didn’t say. “She’s never dated anyone. I could ask her if that’s not her thing or if she’s just scared.”
“No, no, it’s fine!” Justin waved a hand in the air. “It’s no big deal. We’ve just started seeing each other; it’s fine. Do the chart you two instead.”
“Or we could do the chart for you and Emily.”
Justin’s eyes widened. His shoulders grew tense, chest falling slowly.
Laith moved in Theodore’s peripherals, setting his can down. Was he done already? “Or we could go somewhere actually fun,” he proposed, unaware of the stare down. “Streisand’s is the bottom of the fucking barrel, my man. Plus, Tae-hwan will probably be there.”
Theodore turned to his boyfriend. “We don’t have to hang out with the girls; we could do our own thing, go wherever you like. I really don’t mind.”
“What if we all hung out somewhere else?” Laith suggested.
“I brought that up earlier and they said it’d have to be somewhere with a much cooler premise than the zodiac party, which they think is super cool, by the way.”
“Really?” Laith looked baffled. “Damn, anything will rock their socks off, then. If they ever see the DP, they’ll lose their goddamn minds.”
“I mean, probably. They’re just really into the zodiac, I guess.”
“You think they’d want to come down?” Justin asked. There was no judgment in his question, just curiosity.
“I don’t know. They’ve never said anything about it and I’ve never asked either.”
“You’re better off not getting into all that,” Laith remarked. “Have they been to Dominico’s?”
“The college dorm?” Theodore asked.
“It’s a frat house. Justin and I have been there a few times with Emily and Ryan. It’s not too much better than Streisand’s, but I’m assuming we’re less likely to run into Tae-hwan there.”
“So he’s the only reason you don’t wanna go to Streisand’s.”
“Not the only reason. Parties on the surface fucking suck, but that’s where your friends are, so.”
That was exactly why Dylan and his friends went to Streisand’s in the first place. If Scott didn’t feel like partying that week, then they’d probably just stay downstairs. Theodore could ask Hwan about it later. “I’ll talk to Hwan, so we can make sure he’s not going this time.”
“No, it’s fine. You don’t have to.”
“I’m seeing him later tonight; it’s not a big deal.” His shoulders bounced nonchalantly. Laith watched that with a look on his face, subtle and mute, that Theodore couldn’t read. His eyebrows moved minutely—in an instant, that look was gone. Green eyes looked away, injured hand coming up to open a new can and bring it to his lips.
“How come you’re friends with him?” Justin asked.
Theodore tore his eyes away from Laith. “The Poison Darts he hangs out with all went to high school with me. They’re a couple of years older.”
Justin nodded slowly. The beer in his hand seemed to be caught amid his thoughts, in stasis about halfway up, near his chin. He didn’t drink from it, wrapped in introspection. “You know, this blend of factions is really awkward. I understand he’s close to some Poison Darts ‘cause he’s probably with one of them, but… ugh, how do I put this? It’s weird that you’re seeing both us and them at the same time. That doesn’t usually happen.”
“But I’m one of them. I’m a Poison Dart.”
“Yeah, not for long; you’re dating the Great White Shark. I know you’re not really dating, but to the rest of the tunnels, you are dating. He’s branded, so it’s safe to assume he’s not changing factions for you. The consensus is that you’ll come to our side instead.”
Laith cleared his throat. “Actually…” Theodore’s heart jumped—was he going to say it? Laith kept his eyes down on his beer, hand tilting it a bit, making light catch on the aluminum surface. Theodore watched him with a breath stuck in his throat. “We’ve just talked about that. It’s more of a commitment than not, so you’re not off-target there.”
Every inch of Theodore’s body burst into flames, eyes wide—holy shit, it wasn’t a secret. If Justin could know, then soon enough, everybody would, even Ryan. Especially Ryan.
Green eyes came up to look at Justin. They held the stare for a moment, preserving the silence. The surprise on Justin’s face could’ve physically blown Theodore’s body off the Earth.
“You’re actually—you’re together?” Justin asked.
Laith moved his head side-to-side, eyes glancing off. “Yeah.”
“It’s purely a title thing,” Theodore added. “Nothing between us is gonna change because of it. He’s my boyfriend the same way he’s always been, except now I get to tell people about it.”
Justin’s lips parted, but he didn’t say anything. It took him a second to collect his thoughts and actually string a sentence together. “So you’re friends first and boyfriends second.”
“That’s a good way to put it.”
Justin glanced at Laith, but failed to meet his eyes; instead of looking at his friends, Laith absently watched the crowd in their vicinity. There was tension in his shoulders, hip leaning against the table, just shy of sitting on it. This must be a difficult topic for him.
“Well,” Justin continued, a little more centered now, “like I said, you’ll probably end up turning into one of us, since we hang out so often.”
“I could just as easily become a Gorgon, no?” Theodore asked. “I see Hwan pretty often too.”
“Except you’re not dating.”
“No, but…” He tipped his head. The girls had been so loud about the threesome last week that he was sure Justin had heard about it, even if he hadn’t spoken to the other factions himself. “I mean, what’s the difference?” he asked.
“Honestly, Theo, it all comes down to which friends you hang out with the most. You don’t have to choose one over the other; it’s just something that ends up happening.”
“We’ve talked about this already,” Laith interjected. His eyes were still away from the circle, beer coming up for a sip.
“Then you get it,” Justin concluded.
“No, I’m not choosing sides. Hwan and Marquis are my friends as much as you guys. I don’t care what people think about it.”
Laith rolled his eyes. “It’s not a case of whether you get talked about; it’s a natural thing that happens. People don’t have friends in different factions—period.”
“Then I’ll be the first.”
Laith stared at him. His eyes were sharp, eyebrows drawn into a slight scowl, jaw set tight. Did that topic frustrate him or was there something beneath the surface? He hadn’t gotten worked up about it last time.
“Does my friendship with Hwan upset you?”
Even though he was very careful with his words and soft with his tone, his question still turned Laith away from him, close to rolling his eyes a second time. Theodore already knew the answer to that; they’d discussed it on Justin’s porch, but since Laith didn’t remember that night, they’d have to go over this again. “No, I don’t care.” Except Laith totally did. His tone betrayed him, strained and tense.
“I haven’t told him anything about you,” Theodore defended. “When you do come up, it’s usually him telling me about you, not the other way around.”
Laith nodded, keeping quiet. It wasn’t acquiescent, though; the way he moved was very harsh, with annoyance written all over. He just wanted to end the topic.
“You don’t like that either,” Theodore commented.
“It doesn’t matter; I can’t keep him from talking about me.”
“You just wish that I wasn’t there to hear it.”
Laith kept his silence. A wide arch, with his head tilted back, knocked down the rest of his beer, quick and brief. He set the empty can aside and rested his hands on the table, heels pushing onto the edge at each side of his hips.
“Don’t you ever feel like patching things up with him?” Theodore asked.
“I don’t have a problem with him; he has a problem with me.”
That wasn’t true at all, but Theodore decided against mentioning that, if only to see this topic through. “Wouldn’t you like to hear his side? Maybe all he needs is to talk things out with you.”
“I already know his side.”
“Do you?”
“Pretty sure. Plus, having a level-headed conversation with him is impossible. He can barely look at me.”
“What if it was possible? Would you be down to try it?”
Laith glanced at him, scowling. “We’re not going to kiss and make up, Theodore. This utopia in your head, where we’re all best friends, is simply not going to happen. Eventually, you will have to choose, and you will end up choosing, whether you do it consciously or not.”
He breathed in deeply—they would not fight about this. Laith’s tone really made him want to get violent, especially the way he’d used his full name, but he was strong. Justin was here too; they shouldn’t drag him into this. No, he wouldn’t take the bait; there would be no fighting.
Breath left his lungs slowly. “I don’t expect you two to suddenly become friends. What I’m saying is, if Hwan were down to talk to you, would you hear him out?”
“I already have. There’s nothing else to be said.”
“What if there is? I don’t think he’s told you everything he wants to.”
“What is it, then? What’s so fucking important he needs you to tell me?”
“I’m not his messenger.”
They held the stare. Frustrated, Laith leaned forward, in his direction. “What the fuck is the point of this, then?”
“I just want to know if you’d be willing to talk, that’s all.”
“No. The answer is no.”
“Not even for just five minutes?”
Laith scowled. “How important is this? Jesus Christ, is he dying?”
“Would you care if he were?”
Laith hesitated. His eyes dropped the stare for a moment, body leaning back, closer to the table. “Yeah, of course, but I don’t think that’s it. You’re just trying to piss me off.”
“So you do care to hear him out.”
Laith rolled his eyes again. “Oh my god, if I say yes, will you stop?”
“You have to say yes, please.”
His joke did not go well. In fact, it didn’t even tease a smile on Laith’s face. Laith just stared at him, probably wishing he could connect a fist with his nose. At least, that was how Theodore interpreted that expression.
“Anyway…” Justin’s voice was awkward and tense, but it managed to end their argument and pull attention onto himself. His empty beer can joined both of Laith’s on the table. “What movie did you guys catch earlier?”
***
Conversation topics remained civil and mostly uncontroversial for the rest of the night. Still standing by the table, the three of them discussed the media they’d consumed recently, talked about Emily—very clearly trying to keep Ryan out of discussion—and made plans for the weekend.
Even though Laith wasn’t big into movies, the stuff he did watch seemed to be the same stuff Justin was interested in. They talked of the werewolf movie he’d seen earlier that night and titles similar. A series also came up, which Theodore hadn’t watched yet, but that Laith and Justin both had a lot of opinions about. Apparently, it was still on-going, with only two seasons out and a lot of room for speculation. In Laith’s opinion, the ghost haunted the house because she used to live there. In Justin’s, she haunted the family for an undisclosed reason that he believed was related to the father.
They talked about that for a long time. Their conversation naturally gravitated towards Emily, because she also watched this show, but quickly focused solely on her. They explained to Theodore that the falling out last weekend had caused Ryan to remove Laith from the group chat. Since Emily and Justin were both already in Laith’s DMs, besides keeping in touch with one another, they’d deemed a second group chat unnecessary. They spoke every day; information flowed between them like water down the mountainside. They’d all agreed that, if there was a group chat with just the three of them, it’d be dead.
Theodore had no idea Laith talked to his friends that much; he was never on his phone when they hung out. He knew those guys called each other rather than texted, so Laith probably did it before they met up for the night. It was fair to assume these two saw each other far more often than Emily or Ryan, because they both actually came down during the week. Since Justin left the tunnels sometimes, he must see Emily pretty often too. The more Theodore thought about it, the clearer the picture became, that Ryan hadn’t really destroyed much of anything; he’d entered a pre-established group of friends and then left it.
Originally, the plan for this weekend was to hang out at the DP, which was what their group usually did, but Justin made an interesting remark this time—if possible, he’d like to see Jessie. Despite running into the Poison Darts, last week had been fun; he’d really enjoyed the synergy between the three of them and Jessie. Plus, it was always nice to see her. The longer he went on about this, the more suspicious Laith became. Was he sure they weren’t dating? Yes, he was sure. Okay, Theodore added, but wouldn’t he like to? Justin simply waved a hand at that, signaling the end of the topic. They’d already gone over it anyway.
“We don’t have a problem with Jessie,” Laith clarified. “It’s Emily who might not like the idea. Remember how angry she was last time? You’re acting like fucking idiots.” His voice changed for that last part, mocking Emily’s words.
“I don’t think the problem was Jessie,” Justin argued. “We were just being dumb.”
“No, the problem was Jessie.”
“It was definitely Jessie.”
Both Theodore and Laith spoke over each other.
“She only gets like that when she’s jealous,” Laith continued.
“I mean…” Red eyebrows furrowed with pity, tilted upwards. “Jessie’s straight; what are you gonna do? It sucks, but it is what it is.”
Theodore squinted. “Okay, sure, she had a crush on Jessie; that’s true, but… you know that’s not really why she was so upset, right?”
Justin held the stare with worry in the crease of his brows.
“C’mon, man, she only gets worked up like that when her friends are involved,” Laith commented. “She cares because it’s you, the same way she went ballistic last week because it was me. It’s your turn now.”
“I don’t want it to be my turn. I don’t want her upset with me. She terrifies me, dude.”
“I don’t think you can get out of this one. It’s gonna have to be another case where she gets used to the fact that somebody else is in the picture now.”
A hand came up to cover Justin’s mouth, eyes down with his focus, pensive. “Shit, I guess so.”
“Unless she doesn’t have to,” Theodore chimed in.
Two sets of eyes glanced at him.
“Maybe it could be just you and her in the picture.” One of his shoulders bounced, showcasing nonchalance.
He watched the worry that twisted Justin’s features morph into panic, but only for a second. Soon enough, he straightened up and puffed his chest out, hands slipping into his pockets. Very casually, Justin shrugged. “I just don’t want her to be mad at me.”
“You should probably talk to her then,” Laith suggested. “We’re cool with Jessie. If you want to invite her on Saturday, that’s chill; we’ll just have to change locations, ‘cause she’s not coming down.”
“I’ll, uh… yeah, I’ll do that. I’ll let you guys know.”
The clock behind Justin’s head read 6:35. It was on the very back wall, near the dart boards and pool tables. Theodore had been watching it pretty closely this whole time, waiting for a break in the conversation to announce his departure; Hwan was waiting for him. This seemed like the perfect time.
“I have to go.”
Both of his friends looked at him, equally surprised, then proceeded to glance at the same clock in the back of the bar.
“Yeah, it’s pretty late,” Laith concluded. “I should go too.”
“Alright.”
***
Since Laith lived in Blaze, he was the only one who wouldn’t take the subway after this. The thought banged into the back of Theodore’s mind as they left the bar, and just as suspected, Justin and Laith soon turned to each other for their goodbyes. It was a simple wave with the promise to party that weekend, unemotional and careless the way people who met up often usually were. It was less of a goodbye and more of a see you later.
Laith turned to Theodore next, pausing in front of him. Instead of waving at him too, Laith just stood there, as if caught between two conflicting thoughts—was he going to do something different? The suspense grabbed the air in Theodore’s throat and held it, eyes wide, expectant.
If Laith was going for a different approach, then he must’ve backed out at the last minute, because nothing actually happened. He just stood there for a moment, holding the stare. The silence prompted Theodore to hold up a hand and wave it. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” he promised.
Still quiet, Laith nodded. He lingered for a second longer, passed Justin a glance, and finally let his feet take him a couple of steps back. Whatever he’d been a second away from doing didn’t happen. Without another word, he turned and left.
Still holding a breath, Theodore watched him—why hadn’t he gone through with it?
“That was weird,” Justin commented.
“Yeah…”
He absently followed Justin along the passageway, eyebrows drawn together. Had Laith meant to tell him something? Was that it? He had no idea what had been going through his mind.
“I thought he was gonna kiss you.”
Justin’s comment sent his heart flying. “Really?”
“Didn’t you get that vibe?”
His lips parted, but no sound escaped them. He couldn’t say he had gotten that vibe, but he hadn’t not gotten that vibe either. He just didn’t have the slightest clue about it.
“Couples do it all the time,” Justin continued. “I thought he’d do it too.”
“We’ve never done that.”
Justin’s shoulders bounced.
“Did he—” That question left his mouth before he’d thought it through. Should he even say it? He saw Justin glance over, waiting for him to finish. His heart skipped a beat. “Did he use to do that with the Serpent?” he finally asked, a little breathless. “Kiss him goodbye.”
Justin fell behind for a quick second, steps faltering like he’d tripped on something. It was too fast for Theodore to react; when he turned around, Justin was already back in step with him. “Uh.” Blue eyes were cast down, lost in Justin’s thoughts, eyebrows up with surprise. “I actually—I don’t know. That was so long ago; Laith and I weren’t very close yet.” Apprehension seized every muscle in his body. When their eyes met again, Theodore saw a plea to drop the subject. “You should probably ask Emily,” he concluded.
Huh.
***
They rode the orange line together. Justin had to get back to his truck, which he’d left all the way across town, so he’d be here for a while. It was safer—and smarter—to park near the edge of town and move the merchandise underground, where it wouldn’t be confiscated.
Theodore had never gone to Hwan’s place by himself, but the more he rode the subway, the better he understood it. Justin gave him a few pointers too; where to hop off and which line to take next. They talked while the train rushed along and wind whipped past shut windows. The crowd took notice of that, albeit with much less interest than anything Laith did.
When his stop came up, Theodore turned to Justin and hugged him. He didn’t usually do that, but something inside him just felt like doing it this time. His arms wrapped around Justin’s waist, cheek brushing him on the jaw; he was so skinny that, for a moment, Theodore thought he might break him. Justin hugged him back twice as hard. Alright, so maybe Theodore couldn’t break him in half. Laughter came up his throat as the hug loosened up.
“Thanks for hanging out with me tonight; it’s always nice to see you.”
Justin’s sincerity put a smile on his face. “I’ll see you Saturday, big man. Wear your sexiest fit for me, yeah?”
Laughter erupted from Justin’s throat. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll do my best.”
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