Streisand's
And I like large parties. They're so intimate.
At small parties there isn't any privacy.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
When Emily came back, she had a bottle of rum in a hand and a full cup of beer in the other. Despite whatever had happened earlier, she seemed to have put it behind her, grinning from ear to ear now, her cat-like lipstick stretched black across her face. The hand with the bottle shook it up in the air, contents swirling around. “Now we can play truth, dare or shot. We haven’t played with Theo yet.”
“Truth, dare or shot? I don’t think I’ve played that version.”
“I’ll teach you.” She took a seat on the grass, legs folded under herself, tilted sideways. Her dress was very short, like an oversized t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off, big enough to fit Ryan, but the leggings that she wore under it didn’t require her to sit so modestly. She probably just wanted to. It’d been getting chilly enough that she couldn’t walk around with her bare arms out anymore, so she’d thrown a jacket on, even if she didn’t wear it right; she carried it over her elbows, as if it’d slipped down her shoulders by accident, but it was very intentional.
Theodore sat across from her, legs crossed, with Justin and Laith at each side. One of Justin’s legs rested on the ground while the other was propped up, bent at the knee. Laith, on the other hand, sat longways, similarly to Justin, except he leaned back on a hand, not on his own knee.
“Let’s say I’m the one who spins the bottle first,” Emily started, placing the bottle in the middle of the circle, so it lay on its side, “and it lands on you. I get to choose whether I wanna give you a truth or a dare, and you get to choose whether you wanna play along or take a shot from the bottle. Then, it’s your turn to spin.”
“Oh, it’s not so different from truth or dare, then.”
“Not at all; we just turned it into a drinking game.”
Theodore passed the circle a glance. “Wouldn’t it be better with more people, though?”
“Sure.” She shrugged.
“Call your friends over,” Laith suggested. “Hannah and the others.”
Theodore’s heart jumped. Should he? “You think it’d be fun?”
“Hell yeah.”
“Are you talking about the girls who live with him?” Justin asked, blue eyes fixed on Laith’s face.
“Who else would I be talking about, dumbass? We don’t know a single Hannah.”
“So you’ve met them.”
“Yep, just last night. They’re really nice people.”
“How?” Theodore cut in, perplexed. “All they did was attack you. Before lunch, I mean. Hannah was relentless.”
“Nah, she’s sweet. She cares about you a lot. All of them do, actually.”
“Are they hot?”
The circle stared at Justin.
“Theo called one of them a supermodel, so.” Laith shrugged. “I guess she’s hot.”
Theodore’s eyes widened. “She—that’s not what I meant! We’re just—!” He couldn’t even finish that thought; his brain was such a mess that if a Minotaur happened to fall in it, he’d have to call it a maze.
Laith smirked at his frustration. It made him want to punch him.
“Which one is that?” Justin asked.
“Oh, you’ll know when you see her.”
“Okay, since we’re being nasty,” Emily glanced from Justin to Laith, “any blondes?”
“One, but she’s taken.”
“How do you know?” That question flew out of Theodore’s mouth. He was going insane.
“She told me.”
“What?”
“Apparently, two of them made their relationship public yesterday, but you weren’t there.”
“Why didn’t they tell me over lunch?”
Laith sounded out the equivalent of I don’t know, a mumble accompanied by a shrug. “I guess it didn’t come up.”
“You—” He couldn’t form a single thought. “Why did she tell you?”
“’Cause I asked. They were being gay, so I pointed that out and they told me.”
“I can’t believe it. They’ve never been gay in front of me.”
“Do they know you’re getting your back blown out on the reg?”
Justin’s question made Laith burst into laughter so hard that he started wheezing. It put a big grin on Emily’s face, while Theodore only felt the wind that whipped past as he fell off a cliff. He couldn’t even breathe.
“I mean, you pass. If I hadn’t caught you staring at Laith like a schoolgirl, I would’ve never known—that’s why I’m asking. Like, they know Laith’s gay; you look at him and you know, but maybe they don’t know about you. I’m just saying, maybe it’s not intentional. They were gay in front of him ‘cause they know he’s one of them, that’s all.”
Laith hiccupped.
“They know about me.” Theodore’s voice was small.
“Damn, really?” Justin clicked his tongue, moving to pull his wallet out. “Then I don’t know.”
“To be honest, it’s pretty hard not to be gay when Laith’s around,” Emily argued. “They might’ve gotten pulled in.”
“That’s true.” Justin plucked a joint between his lips. “Even I feel like hitting on men when I’m around him sometimes. I mean, just look at Ryan.”
“Oh my god,” Laith breathed in deeply, hand wiping a tear from his eye. “I’m gonna kill you.”
“Bro, I’m already dead.” The joint muffled Justin’s words, eyes down at the flame that burned the end of it.
“I mean, Jesus Christ; Ryan was already bi when I met him.”
“I know that; I’m goofy, not stupid. What I’m saying is…” Here, Justin toked on the joint, lighter put away. He breathed out before continuing. “Even the most passing of gays come out around you. Ryan would’ve never hit on me if you weren’t there.”
“Man, I don’t know what the fuck your point is.”
“Theo’s friends are probably too straight for the couple to feel comfortable with PDA.” Emily accepted the joint from Justin.
“Yes, that’s what I’m saying!” Justin practically shouted. “Thank you!”
She winked at him, joint between her lips.
“They know about you, by the way.” Laith’s voice dripped with mischief, smirk cutting across his face.
“Me?” Justin pointed at himself.
“Yeah, you. They brought you up last night.”
“What’d they say?”
“Nothing; they just brought up your name. I have no idea what Theo said about you.”
“I didn’t say anything!” Theodore rebutted. “They know you have a farm and that you smoke weed. That’s it.”
“Shit, you told them I smoke? Now they think I’m a fucking junkie.”
“You used to be,” Laith practically mumbled, eyes cast aside. With the joint in hand, he blew smoke off into the breeze.
“So did you!”
“Yeah, no shit. Why do you think we’re friends?”
“Well, I have a few theories,” Justin mused, moving to sit upright, “but you’re not gonna like them.”
“Alright, give me the worst one.” Laith passed the joint to Theodore.
“The worst one, huh? Okay. You only started talking to me ‘cause I deal to the Hollywood boys.”
Theodore took a drag as they talked, lungs warm with smoke. The more he did it, the easier it became. This time, his throat barely even itched.
“Bro, if I was trying to use you, why have I never asked you to introduce us?”
Justin shrugged. “Like I said, those are just theories. I’ve never really gone into too much detail.”
“Yeah, but that’s not the worst one,” Emily interjected, eyebrows furrowed upwards.
“Tell me the worst one, then,” Laith urged.
Justin stared at her, lost.
“That you only started talking to him ‘cause you wanted to pick him up.”
“Oh.” Justin clicked his tongue, hand reached toward Theodore. “That’s not even a theory.”
“You’re right; it’s the truth.” Laith shrugged.
Justin stared at him, wide-eyed. “Are you kidding me?”
“Nah, dude, you’re hot. If you were into it, I woulda fucked you right when we met.”
Emily pointed at her best friend with a hand, a gesture that said I told you so without words.
“Is that why you asked me if I had a girlfriend?”
“That’s generally why people ask other people if they have a girlfriend.”
“Oh my god, Justin.” Emily laughed. “Are you dense, man?”
“I’m sorry, I was confused! I just thought he was a client like everybody else.”
“Do all your clients hit on you like that?” Laith scowled.
“I mean…” Justin’s shoulders bounced. “I’ve heard weirder shit. They’re usually drunk when they come to me, so crazy talk is expected. I thought you were just being weird.”
“Can’t blame you for that.” Emily raised her eyebrows, piercing glinting under the last rays of sunshine. “Now smoke that shit or I’ll take it from you!”
“Okay, okay, sorry.”
As Justin toked on the joint, Laith glanced at Theodore. “Are they on the way?”
“Oh, uh.” Heat rushed up his neck, hands fishing his phone out. “I’ll text them right away.”
“I can call them, if you want.”
“Since when do you have their number?”
“Hannah texted me this morning. She wanted to know if we were in the room.”
Holding the stare, Theodore could feel two sets of eyes bore into the side of his face. He had to make sure they didn’t get the wrong idea here. “While we slept in, you mean.”
A slow grin pulled at Laith’s lips. “While we slept in, yeah.”
Somehow, that just made it worse. The way Laith had said that had completely negated his previous statement, like a very badly kept secret. Shit.
“Damn, you guys spent all night and all day together?” Smoke blew with each word, joint pinched between Justin’s fingers, an offering to Emily. She wasted no time taking it.
“Uh, yeah. We met up around eight last night.”
Keeping his silence, Theodore simply turned to his phone and opened up the girls’ group chat.
“You must be exhausted.” Emily’s tone was far too casual for the weight of that comment. It burned right through Theodore’s face, fingers trying to type out a text. Not watching them was a good call; he didn’t have to look to know the size of Laith’s grin.
We’re at Streisand’s right now.
Do you guys want to stop by?
“I’m more resilient than you think.”
“Resilient… isn’t that when you don’t like change?”
Jessie replied within the minute.
Like, right now right now?
“No, that’s resistant. Like, resistant to change.”
Yeah, right now. We wanna play truth or dare.
He didn’t have to tell her about the shot part. Let it be a surprise.
“Resilient is when you cum, and then five minutes later, you’re good to go again,” Emily explained. That froze Theodore on the spot. “That’s what he means.”
“You just ruined the joke.”
Four different reiterations of the same text flooded the group practically at the same time agreeing to be there as soon as possible. Great.
“He didn’t get the joke! What was I supposed to do, not explain it?”
“Isn’t there a word that’s like, irresistant?” Justin asked.
“No,” she quickly answered.
“You might be thinking of irresistible, which is also true about me.”
Emily scoffed. “If you don’t dismount, I’ll push you off your high horse right now.”
“Are you gonna bring a ladder for that?”
Emily and Laith moved in Theodore’s peripherals, but he preferred not to watch. She was probably just shoving him, anyway. He locked his phone and slipped it back into his kangaroo pocket.
“Dude, careful!” Justin’s concern prompted Theodore to glance up just in time to see the other two disengage from whatever scuffle they’d just had. Rolling a shoulder, Laith offered the joint back to him. The acceptance was wordless, fingers touching as it changed hands.
“Man, you almost dropped it!”
“But I didn’t,” Laith defended.
“But you could have!”
“But I didn’t.”
“Justin.” Emily touched her friend’s arm. “I bet you have enough on you for another three joints, so even if he had dropped it, it would’ve been fine.”
Theodore’s throat burned with smoke.
“That’s not the point. It’s a principle—you don’t waste it!”
“I didn’t waste it.”
“I know, I’m just telling you to be careful.”
“I am careful. Theo, tell them about last week.”
Theodore exhaled. “What about last week?”
“What part of last week do you think I’m talking about?”
“Uh.” He passed the joint over to Justin, mind whirring to come up with something relevant to this conversation. “The bong rip?”
That was the best he could do. Still, Laith rolled his eyes.
“You know.” Justin muffled his words on the filter, voice strained as he held smoke in his lungs. “I was the one who taught these guys how to use a bong. I’m important.”
“That’s true,” Emily corroborated. “If it weren’t for you, I would’ve lived the rest of my days unable to use one. Now I can get high and look cool while doing it.”
“Justin is a man of knowledge. An erudite, if you will. He can give you information on the most obscure of topics, but if you ask him what rice is, he’d tell you it’s a vegetable.”
“Isn’t it?” Justin blew smoke into the air.
“Oh, honey.” Emily grinned, taking the joint from him. “It’s a grain.”
“Isn’t that just a subsection of vegetable?”
Suddenly, Theodore wasn’t sure anymore. Was grain a subjection of vegetable? If so, then would vegetables be a subsection of plants? Was everything technically plants? The circle shared a confused look.
“No, that’s not right.” Laith scowled. “They’re different things. When you think of vegetables, you don’t think of corn and beans, do you? You think of carrots and lettuce.”
“Okay, but aren’t they all plants?”
“I was just thinking that too,” Theodore confessed.
“Yeah, but they’re not all the same thing just ‘cause they’re all plants. You’re essentially equating hide to meat.”
“How are they different?” Justin squinted.
“They’re from different parts of plants! Grain is like—grain is seeds, while vegetables are the tasty part. Like, you could just pull a carrot from the ground and eat it, but you wouldn’t do the same to fucking beans.”
“Okay, so fruits are vegetables too.”
“Fruits come from flowers, dog! They’re not vegetables!”
“Okay, guys.” Emily passed Laith the joint with her free hand up. “Let’s not get too heated about plants here.”
“You just proved my point, anyway.” Laith stuck the joint between his lips and took a long, long drag.
“Since when are you Mr. Botanist?” Despite the humor in Theodore’s question, it was still a genuine one. “I had no idea you knew so much about… grain.”
Laith breathed in sharply, a maneuver to trap smoke in his lungs. “Bro, it’s high school stuff. You just finished it; you should know.”
“Okay, then I get a pass,” Justin jumped in. “I’ve been out of high school for seven years.”
“Wait.” Theodore counted on his fingers. “You’re twenty-five?”
“Yeah, and I’m a Taurus.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“It’s my zodiac sign. You know, the star alignment stuff.”
“No, I know what the zodiac is; I just don’t know what any of them mean.”
“Emily could tell you more about it. I only know about my own.”
As Justin talked, Laith passed Theodore the joint, smoke dissipating in the air.
“I don’t know very much either,” Emily clarified. “I just think it’s fun to read the horoscope and see if my day matches with what it says.”
“What’s my horoscope?” Theodore brought the joint to his lips.
“It depends on your sign. When’s your birthday?”
He couldn’t exactly answer with smoke in his throat, so a hand came up to signal for her to wait.
Laith ended up answering for him. “February fourth.”
Huh, so he remembered. Theodore stared into the side of his face, holding a breath. When Laith met his eyes, he turned and exhaled.
“Okay, February fourth. It looks like you’re an Aquarius.”
“What does that mean?”
“It says here that you’re a nonconformist rebel who hates authority and dresses weird. Is that you?”
“No, I look good all the time.”
Laughter filled the circle.
“Alright, maybe you don’t dress weird. By the way, your horoscope for today is caution. People are gonna try to sabotage your day—are you gonna fight or are you gonna ignore them?”
Hm. Who could have tried to ruin his day? The obvious answer would be Ryan, but then again, Ryan had either tried to or succeeded in ruining his day pretty much his whole life.
“That could be true for literally any other day,” he argued.
“Yeah, I know. These are all vague and could apply to anyone here; that’s kinda the point. I just find it fun to figure out what they’re telling me, whether it’s true or not.”
“Do me next,” Justin cut in, accepting the joint from Theodore.
“Okay, Taurus. It says here that you should get some friends together to help you fix your place up, like clean and do yard work.”
“Wack.” Laith tutted.
“Guys, I have an incredible proposition for you,” Justin joked, joint poking out of a grin.
“Is it yard work?” Theodore asked.
“I’ll tell you when we get to my place.”
Emily giggled. “Okay, mine tells me to work hard and get my shit together.”
“I know the perfect place for hard work—it’s in my yard.”
Justin’s comment made Emily laugh.
“What sign are you?” Theodore asked her.
“Scorpio.”
He blinked. “These are so random. Is there any logic to them?”
“Of course there is!” Justin loudly mumbled, joint between his teeth. “The stars are kindly telling you what your destiny brings!”
“That someone’s gonna try to ruin my day? That’s my destiny?”
Justin toked quietly, ignoring Theodore’s question.
“There’s a sex chart too, you know.”
The circle stared at Emily.
“Read my sex chart.” Laith nodded in her direction.
“Okay, Capricorn. Let’s see… Do you want the chart or the horoscope?”
“The chart. Tell me what I’m good at.”
“Don’t you already know that?” Justin passed the joint along.
“He just wants to hear it.” Emily puffed while searching, eyes down at her phone. “Alright, here we go. Capricorn, you are a practical man. You don’t think about sex as much as you simply perform it. To you, it’s just another task, which you will complete to the best of your ability, putting all the time and effort necessary into satisfying your partner. Does this sound like you so far?”
“I mean…” Laith made a face. “The task part is kinda inconsiderate, isn’t it? Sounds like I’m some fucking robot.”
“Literally a fucking robot,” Justin remarked.
“Okay, shut up; I’m gonna keep reading. You are pragmatic, extremely horny—”
“That’s correct.”
“—and prefer to show your affection through actions rather than words. You are a provider and want to give your partner everything they could possibly need, both inside as well as outside the bedroom. You are passionate and will try anything your partner suggests, but prefers to do things your way. You have a small number of positions you’re comfortable with, because you know you’re good at them, and prefer to stick to what you know rather than fail while trying something new. After that, we have the sign-to-sign compatibility.”
“A small number of positions?”
“You’re only good at missionary and that’s it.” Emily passed the blunt while Justin burst into laughter.
“Damn, they really just called me straight, huh. Who knew conversion therapy was real?” Laith took the joint and toked on it.
“In his defense,” Theodore jumped in, lips parted to follow that up with his case, but as soon as he noticed the weight of everyone’s attention, he didn’t want to say anything anymore. It was clear that they’d been waiting for this moment, eager to know what he thought of such claims. Well, his original point had to be scrapped now, but he still had to say something—they all expected it. “He—I mean, he does prefer to do things his way.”
“Really.” Laith blew smoke through his nose. “You’re comfortable saying that.”
Hyperaware of the stares, Theodore hesitated. Oh god, what could he even say here? He was in a vacuum-sealed coffin. “That doesn’t mean you hate doing things my way; it’s just that you seem much more excited to do them your way.”
“Are you talking about this morning?”
“No, I—” His brain short-circuited.
“Or do you mean the shower?”
“I just mean—just, in general.”
“You know I didn’t mean to choke you, right?”
That comment put him back on his knees as the hand on his head tangled fingers into his hair. His breathing hitched, suddenly back in the moment, body tense. No, he was okay. He let out a slow breath.
“I mean, I did, but—”
“Yeah,” he quickly cut Laith off, heart hammering into his chest. “Yeah, I know. It’s fine. It’s whatever.”
“Man.” Justin clicked his tongue. “You’ve been in charge? I thought Theo topped you.”
His comment felt like a flying brick had just hit Theodore’s forehead so hard it shot him across the yard.
Laith stared at his friend for a moment, bottom lip worried between his teeth, head bobbing the slightest bit into a nod. “Huh.”
When their eyes met again, Theodore’s soul exited his body. He was no longer present. Out of sheer panic, his hand brought his cup up to his face. At that point, the rest of him took over, downing the entirety of his drink before pushing it in Laith’s direction. “Can you—can you get me a refill, please?”
Laith watched his hand tremble for a moment, making up his mind. Ultimately, he took the cup and got up to leave. “Next time you tell Justin about me, at least make me look good.” With that, Laith disappeared into the crowd.
As soon as he was gone, a big breath rushed into Theodore’s lungs, shoulders dropping. Holy shit.
“He took the joint,” Justin promptly remarked. “Bastard.”
“Did you actually top him or is Justin bullshitting us?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Breath came in quick and short, just shy of hyperventilating. “I can’t talk about this shit in front of him.”
“Are you sure? ‘Cause you were very comfortable talking about it last week, in front of everyone. Even your brother.”
“No, that was different. There were no details involved; it was just fact. It was a memo.”
“Why would details matter? You know he doesn’t care. He’s always telling us about the stuff he does in the dark rooms, anyway. It’s not a secret.”
“I don’t—” Suddenly, a different thought changed the direction of that entire sentence. The change was so drastic that it erased his previous sentence completely and started from scratch. “Has he told you about me? Details, I mean. Stuff we’ve done.” He knew Laith hadn’t told Justin or Sherry anything, but had he told Emily?
“No. He doesn’t talk about you at all.”
“That’s what I said,” Justin cut in. “I told you that already.”
“I know, but I thought—I thought maybe he’d told Emily, because, you know.”
“The only times you’ve ever come up were because I brought you up. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have said a word.”
“And we all know what that means.”
He stared at Justin, heart beating in the roof of his mouth. If any words had managed to escape the maze his brain had become, they would simply fail to circumvent the lump that blocked his throat, so really, nothing was able to come out.
“So when are you gonna ask him?”
That question erased every single thought he’d ever had.
“You know, despite what he looks like, Laith’s a sensitive guy,” Justin started. “I bet he’d love it if you did something cheesy, like ordered a cake with will you be my boyfriend? written on it, or took him to a restaurant and gave him flowers. He’s a big fan of cuisine, so food is your best bet here.”
“He’d love a grand romantic gesture too. Like, asking the DJ to play your song at the club, then screaming at the top of your lungs if he’d be your boyfriend. Better yet, tell the DJ to turn the music down at one point and announce that you have something to say. That way, the whole club will stop to see you ask him.”
“I think I’d rather blind myself with sewing needles.” Those words left him straight from the core of his being. The lump had been defeated.
“Okay, then what were you thinking?” Emily didn’t care to hide the vexation from her voice.
“I wasn’t thinking anything because I’m not doing it.”
“Why not?”
“I already know the answer to that and it’s no.”
“So you’re gonna skip the question and go straight to mourning? ‘Cause that’s what you’re doing. By not asking, you’re accepting defeat. The next step would be to get over him and move on. Have you started on that yet?”
“That’s not the next step. I’m not in mourning; he hasn’t even rejected me. I just… I like things the way they are.”
“Then why did you call me at six in the morning asking me why he wouldn’t date you?”
“It was a moment of weakness. I was manic.”
“I think you really want him to be your boyfriend.”
“Yeah, well, I can’t change who he is, so.” He shrugged.
“Except you wouldn’t be changing him at all. He’s not afraid of commitment; he’s afraid of getting hurt, so tell him you’re not going to hurt him.”
“Oh, simple.” Irony tasted foreign on his tongue. “Did you already forget what you told me? I don’t know that I won’t hurt him. I can’t promise him that.”
“You’ll just have to ask him to give you a chance.”
“Or I’ll just enjoy what we have and not try to sabotage it, thanks.”
“You wouldn’t be sabotaging it,” Justin jumped in. “He wouldn’t mind if you asked him. That kind of stuff doesn’t matter to him.”
From the corner of his eye, Theodore saw the crowd part with Laith’s return. He carried Theodore’s cup in a hand and the joint between his lips, practically a stub at this point. His presence kept Theodore silent, hoping to kill the subject before Laith caught wind of it. Unfortunately, that thought didn’t occur to the others.
“I think you should do it tonight,” Emily suggested. She leaned back on a hand, lips stretching into a smirk. “Right now.”
Theodore furtively shook his head as Laith sat back down.
“Right now,” she repeated, dark eyes fixed on him.
“Here.” Laith passed him the cup, speaking around the butt of the joint. It wasn’t even lit anymore.
“Do it,” Emily pushed.
Laith passed her a glance. “Are you talking to me?” He sounded genuinely confused.
“No, she’s talking to me,” Justin lied. That got a look from Theodore, wide-eyed. “She wants to give me a dare, but the game hasn’t started yet. I told her she should wait.”
“Yeah, save that one for later.” Laith reached an arm across the circle, roach between his fingers. Justin took it and stashed it away.
“I don’t know, it’s kind of embarrassing,” Emily admitted. Her tone was somewhere between teasing and mischievous, eyes locked on Theodore. A hand came up to touch the spikes on her choker, playing with them. “Should it really wait for everyone else?” she asked.
Theodore dropped his gaze at the cup and drank from it.
“Depends,” Laith commented. “What’s the dare?”
“Uh, for me to be brutally honest for two minutes straight,” Justin answered.
Emily glanced at him. “I said five.”
“Sorry, five.”
“Then yeah, you should probably do that now,” Laith concluded. “You don’t know any of Theo’s friends, so the brutal honesty would just make you sound like a dick. Do only the three of us.”
Wow, Justin must really like Theodore for such a sacrifice. He’d have to pay him back in full.
“C’mon,” Emily urged. “Read us.”
“Okay, okay, uh. Well…” Justin cleared his throat. “Who wants to go first?”
“Me.”
Laith and Emily both spoke over each other.
“Alright, Laith goes first.”
“Why? I gave you the dare, so do me first.”
“Okay, uh. You’re, um… Laith, are you timing it?”
“I can.”
“Then let me know when the countdown starts.”
“Alright.” Theodore glanced up to see Laith pull out his phone and fiddle with it. “Okay… now.”
Justin nervously cleared his throat. Theodore could tell from the way he sat, back perfectly straight, shoulders tense. “Emily, you’re beautiful, and you’re also kind of a freak.”
That made her burst into laughter.
“I mean that in a good way, though! Like, you’re cool. Your makeup is freaky in a cool way and you’re kind of terrifying, but in like, a nurturing way, you know? Like, you could kick my ass, but I also know that, if I’m going through something, I can talk to you.”
“When have I ever kicked your ass?” she spoke with a bright grin.
“Well, you’ve never kicked my ass, ‘cause I’ve been staying out of trouble, but I know you could. You’ve kicked Laith’s, so really, you could kick anyone’s.”
“Okay, okay, me next,” Laith urged.
“No, I’m not done talking about her.”
“Bro, you’ll never be done talking about her.”
“Just give me a minute, alright?” Here, Justin turned back to his addressee. “Emily, I consider you a really good friend of mine, and I want you to know that this next part comes from the heart, okay? I know you care about us a lot, but sometimes, you go a little crazy about it, especially with Laith. Like, I get it—I get it—but it feels like, sometimes, you forget he’s an adult.”
The expression on her face was utterly unreadable.
“Don’t hate me,” Justin continued, palms up in the air. “That’s just how I feel about it. I think you should trust him more, ‘cause he can definitely handle himself. We both know he can.” With that, Justin turned to Laith. As soon as their eyes met, Justin’s shoulders relaxed, breath leaving his lungs. “Man, I don’t even know what to say to you.”
“Aw, c’mon. Read me to filth.”
A hand motioned vaguely towards Laith. “I don’t know. You’re a mess, dude.”
That got a scoff in response, Laith’s lips curled into a small smile.
“I mean, I don’t think I could make a point that you aren’t already expecting from me. You’re loud and unapologetic; you do what you wanna do and you don’t care about what other people think. That’s really admirable.”
“But…?”
“But you’re also a dumbass.”
Laith grinned.
“I know it’s on purpose, but I feel like I had to point that out anyway. Here’s the thing about you, dude—it’s all on purpose. Everything we think about you is what you want us to think about you, so I don’t really have anything subversive to say. Even when you’re constantly fucking up and being a huge mess, I just have this feeling that it’s all part of the act, like it’s intentional.”
“Everything we do is intentional; it comes from our arrière-pensée, conscious or not. You do it too.”
“Sure, but… I don’t know. You’ve definitely put a lot more thought into it than I have. I guess that’s the point I’m trying to make.”
“I’m not sure I’d say that.”
Justin shrugged, turning to Theodore next. “As for you, Theo, I think you’re a really sweet guy. You have a fire under your ass that I don’t think a lot of people can see. You’re caught in between two completely different worlds, trying to find where you belong, and I just hope that place is with us.”
“You talk like you’re in love with me,” Theodore joked.
In response, Justin smiled. “Maybe I am. Who knows? We might elope before the day’s over.”
Theodore laughed.
“You know, Sherry doesn’t think you put yourself first, but I think you do,” Justin continued. “She’s only really seen you around Ryan, so I don’t blame her; you’re different when you’re away from him. Better, I think.”
“I think we’re all better away from him,” Theodore confessed. “Especially Emily.”
He saw her drop her eyes to the beer cup between her hands, no response in her mouth. She must know he was right.
“How much longer do I still have?” Justin asked.
“One minute.”
“Damn, this shit’s rough. I already want to apologize to everyone. I feel like such a dick.”
“Well, that’s what the dare entails.” Emily shrugged, eyes up at him now. “I asked for it, didn’t I?”
They held the stare. Theodore could tell Justin was having a hard time keeping his mouth shut about the lie. The need to apologize and come clean screwed a frown into his face, eyebrows up with guilt.
“Why don’t you read Ryan next?” Laith suggested. “He’s not here to hear it.”
“Oh, I’m not reading him. That’s a hard pass for me.”
“We’re not gonna tell on you, dude.”
“I know, I just—it doesn’t feel right.”
“C’mon, I bet you have some piping hot takes on him.”
“Man…” Justin threw his hands up. “I’m not gonna do that. This is already hell.”
Laith’s phone buzzed. It seized Justin’s attention immediately, eyebrows up with hope.
“Am I free?”
“You are free.” The reluctance in Laith’s voice was practically palpable. He put his phone away with vexation pursing his lips, eyes just shy of rolling.
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